


Rules for the Avengers

by arianapeterson19



Series: Avengers Shorts [11]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers need rules, Clint being Clint, Humor, Lists, Tony Being Tony, also because they are trouble makers, just for fun, mainly tony and clint, sometimes bruce, steve is as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 01:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5187722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arianapeterson19/pseuds/arianapeterson19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If the Avengers could kindly follow these rules, that would be great." was all the note said. The new handler thought it was a joke.</p><p>Or</p><p>There wouldn't be so many rules if Clint had stayed brainwashed and Tony hadn't been...well...Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rules for the Avengers

Rules for the Avengers  
1\. Tony is not allowed to change the SHIELD Threat List anymore. (If he is ranked number 9 then he changed it. For some reason he really likes that spot)

2\. Clint is not in charge of baking birthday cakes for ANY person. Wedding cakes are fine but birthday cakes are off limits.

3\. Tony is no longer allowed to start or participate in any Nerf wars. This includes updating any Nerf guns.

4\. If Natasha is wearing any form of pink, do not comment on it. Ask Bruce why, he can explain.

5\. Tony is not allowed to bring a quill to a debrief. He will use it, he will insist that he is taking notes (when really he is drawing unflattering pictures of others) and he will insist on talking in a British accent – which he is shockingly good at but that is not the point.

6\. Thor is not allowed to watch “P.S. I Love You” (he cries like a baby and Loki teases him)

7\. Tony is not allowed to have sharpies at any team bonding activity.

8\. Natasha should never under any circumstances be given coffee. No, not even decaf.

9\. Clint is not allowed to glue feathers on the Iron Man armor and call Tony the “Tooth fairy”. That was almost worse than New York and Loki.

10\. While we are on the subject, Clint should probably not be left alone with glue ever.

11\. No one (Clint) is allowed to shave off anyone’s (Bruce) left eyebrow ever again.

12\. Tony is never to be given hamsters. He will set them loose in the air ducts of any SHIELD facility (including the helicarrier) claiming to be setting them free but really he’s just wanting them to spread little baby hamsters all over the place. If Fury didn’t find it funny the first time, he won’t find it funny a fifth time. Yes, fifth.

13\. None of the Avengers (Clint and Tony) are allowed to start World War Three – on purpose or on accident.

14\. Tony is to be kept under constant, vigilant, supervision if he claims he is going to paint the town red. He means to literally paint the town red. Any town. Probably one of the communist ones because he’s Tony Stark.

15\. Bruce is banned from Egypt.

16\. Natasha is not allowed to switch the supply cabinet coffee with decaf.

17\. Tony is not to be given a mood ring. (He hates it when they are wrong and gets upset when it is right)

18\. Clint is not allowed to pretend to be the Oracle of Delphi. It makes Thor mad.

19\. Steve is not allowed to eat pickles after 8pm. It gives him strange dreams.

20\. Steve is not allowed to watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre with Tony.

21\. Natasha is not allowed to run into any room with a chainsaw after Steve and Tony watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (and they will watch it)

22\. Pants are mandatory at all official team meetings (Bruce)

23\. Tony is not allowed to go to comic-con. He always starts a fight with the Star Trek fangirls.

24\. No one is allowed to quote Taylor Swift to Bruce. (Surprisingly, the Hulk hates Taylor Swift)

25\. Just because Thor begs for it does not give anyone (Tony) permission to restock the kitchen entirely with Pop Tarts

26\. Thor is no longer allowed on Tumblr.

27\. Tony is still in trouble for introducing Thor to Tumblr.

28\. Tony is not allowed to sing “Defying Gravity” while – you know what, ever. Just ever.

29\. Steve is not allowed to ask people if they have had a hoagie today. (he thinks its dirty)

30\. If Natasha wants to wear a ballet outfit she may.

31\. “Mulan” is banned from movie night. That movie always results in a fist fight between Steve and Bruce.

32\. Tony is no longer invited to Fury’s house for dinner. He was never actually invited, he just showed up and now it’s causing problems.

33\. Steve is not allowed to bring home any more stays.

34\. Bruce is not allowed to make fun of Tony’s pet rock.

35\. Tony is not to be trusted with any living animal as a pet.

36\. No one is allowed to throw Creepy Crawlers at Bruce. He will Hulk out.

37\. No one is allowed to talk to Fury on National Talk Like a Pirate Day.

38\. The Avengers do not celebrate Father’s Day.

39\. Steve is not allowed to walk around in just boxers anymore.

40\. Tony does not get to declare himself the ruler of the world and enforce the idea that everyone should pay a tribute of one kitten per household.

41\. Thor is no longer allowed to perform marriage ceremonies and Clint and Tony are not allowed to try and convince Thor to marry them. The media can’t handle it.

42\. Steve is allowed to ride his motorcycle – just not in the stairwells.

43\. “Kick Me I’m with Hydra” signs are banned.

44\. Tony is not allowed to legally change Agent Coulson’s first name to “Agent”

45\. “Fury Fridays” are banned – that includes ‘happening’ to wear a black trench coat or eye patch (Tony) – however Fandom Fridays are still okay for all who have not lost their fandom privileges.

46\. Blanket forts are not allowed to be constructed in the debriefing room (Tony and Clint)

47\. No one is allowed to dye Steve’s hair red, white, and blue. The man only sleeps a few hours – don’t make him fear what will happen when he does. (Bruce)

48\. Natasha is not allowed to cook. (This is for the greater good)

49\. Lemons are banned from all Avengers functions – including battles.

50\. There will no longer be a “Hunger Games Thursday” (which has nothing to do with reading the books or watching the movies and everything to do with the Avengers throwing the baby agents into the training room and promising the winner the last cup of coffee)

**Author's Note:**

> This was just for fun.


End file.
